The Burden of Expectation | Chandler
The Burden of Expectation
“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” - Earl Nightingale
Each piece of the filmmaking process is a new iteration of storytelling. In writing grant proposals, budgets, and team meetings, the original idea and story is molded and reshaped. Over time, it is natural that I’ve become attached to this story, and the very act of thinking about something enough gives it meaning. I feel “Japanese running” lodged between my molars waiting to come out at the slightest provocation - “why are you going to Japan,” “what is your film about,” “what sort of things are you interested in?” It has wound its way to the core of my being, and every action is inextricably linked with this project.
As more work is put towards developing the film, one fear looms overhead - the fear of expectation. I’ve always had high standards for myself, and this film is no different. Even though I don’t have a wealth of filmmaking experience, I’m hoping that my photography and storytelling skills will transfer over. Since I’ve been inundated with spectacular films and extremely polished stories since I was young, my point of comparison is unrealistic. I honestly can’t recall the last awful film that I’ve seen. As such, the bar for this film (in my mind) is unrealistically high. To avoid the inevitable failure to live up to these lofty goals, I’m working on changing my approach to this project.
Instead of viewing the film as a chance to make my magnum opus or my only chance to prove my filmmaking talent, I’m shifting towards a craftsman mindset. The process is the goal, and not the end product. In Cal Newport’s book [So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love](https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You/dp/1455509124), he explores the craftsman mindset and how it is essential to build anything great. In my application of this mindset, I’ve been analyzing countless Japanese films, reading guides to storytelling, and have begun to practice these skills by writing and producing low-budget shorts. I’m shifting my focus from the light at the end of the tunnel to enjoying the walk - we’ll see if it pays off.
So far, we’ve received funds through GoFundMe donations, our [Mobility & Community Forum](http://college.as.virginia.edu/mobility-and-community), and from the University’s office of Learning Design & Technology. We have a burden to all of these sources, because they’ve chosen to invest in us. As we continue to work to tell this constantly-evolving story, we strive to make those investments worthwhile.